A day is greeted with a certain longing for anything but the same. I rush to get my laptop, and scroll for movies or tv series to spend the rest of the day with. Apparently, every thing makes me sick. Even the thought of logging into my Facebook is filling me up with dread; and what feels like a mixture of undigested water and food is slowly crawling up in my throat and onto the space where humans walk. But that is until I saw Miley Cyrus on my IG feed (yes, I follow her too).
You see, kids, during my high school years and first to second years of college, I eat my bowl of cereals to Hannah Montana as I would happily sing along to her Best of Both Worlds. True gift, I have to say. The script, the humor, and characters of the show is what makes it even more awesome than it already is.
Oh the joy it brings to my heart as I put Hannah Montana on TV. I stifle a giggle each time a funny scene comes on (my wound from the operation hurts, so yeah), but I let one laughter (more like a kilig scream that sounds “OH MY GOD IT’S THE JONAS BROTHERS”) escape from my mouth at the sight of the three young gorgeous looking male singers on one of the episodes.
It is all fun and games until I inch closer to the last season and Hannah Montana is about to drop “the” major bomb.
As she takes off her blond wig and reveal her real self to everyone, I am slapped me in the face by the truth. And the truth sting more than ever.
I have grown.
I have been existing for 21 years already. I am not a kid anymore.
I am no longer that kid in high school who didn’t have anything worse to worry about because the bills would get paid by the parents, she would get high grades even without trying, and she wouldn’t fail anything. I am no longer that kid who looks forward to tomorrow because she’s excited for the next school year and she gets to buy new things. I am no longer that kid who just sleeps and knows everything will be fine.
I am now the adult that has to worry about bills because she has to live, career because everyone else is going up but her, succeeding because despite everything she does, she fails, health or else she’ll be in hospital which constitutes to her not being able to pay the bills and not moving up on her career ladder. I am now the adult that dreads tomorrow and the future because it is scary. I am now the adult that sleeps to escape the reality.
Sometimes, I’d wish there’s some way to go back in time and stay there. But being a strong woman that I am, I have to suck it up and move forward.